Is It OK That I Haven’t Told My Parents I Was Fired?

I don't want them to worry.

View in browser|nytimes.com Continue reading the main story August 8, 2020 Illustration by Tomi Um   The Ethicist Is It OK That I Haven’t Told My Parents I Was Fired? The magazine’s Ethicist columnist on why it can be hard to tell family you’ve lost your job, whether to collect unemployment benefits and more. By Kwame Anthony Appiah Last year I was abruptly let go from my job. I ramped up my side business, which was fine except that now the pandemic has caused an immediate decline — and potential future decrease — in business because my clients cannot quickly adapt to technology to allow for work to continue. My clients requested that I reschedule work until the fall of this year; they think that is when business will return to pre-crisis levels. (This is an industrywide issue as well.) The trouble is that I never told my elderly parents that I was let go. I no longer talk about the job, a topic we used to discuss frequently. Now I discourage discussion about it, saying it is a “toxic work environment.” Instead, I steer the discussion toward small triumphs with my side job, which is now my primary source of income. During this economic turbulence caused by the pandemic, both parents often verbalize how blessed our family is that all of their children are still employed. I continue to play along because I don’t want my octogenarian parents worrying about it. Continue reading the main story ADVERTISEMENT I have not shared the news with my family because I am hurt and embarrassed by the circumstances of my departure from the job. I am considering taking legal action to address what I believe to be disparate treatment. I feel as if discussing this matter will be a “downer” for everyone at a time when we all crave good news. I believe that I have good reasons for not sharing my job loss with my parents, who tend to share details I would rather keep private. Still, I think I behaved unethically by not fully sharing my situation with them. What do you think? Read the Ethicist’s response here. THIS WEEK’S MAGAZINE Stephanie Gonot for The New York Times   Sweatpants Forever: How the Fashion Industry Collapsed Even before the pandemic, it had started to unravel. What happens now that no one has a reason to dress up? By Irina Aleksander Adam Ferguson for The New York Times   The Covid Drug Wars That Pitted Doctor vs. Doctor How much freedom should front-line clinicians have in treating Covid-19 patients with unproven drugs? The question opened up a civil war in some hospitals. By Susan Dominus Birgit Krippner for The New York Times   Feature Behrouz Boochani Just Wants to Be Free He fled Iran’s Revolutionary Guard. He exposed Australia’s offshore detention camps — from the inside. He survived, stateless, for seven years. What’s next? By Megan K. 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Although he managed to push through racism, that wasn’t an option for many. By Alexis Clark Stay in touch: Follow us on Twitter (@NYTmag) or check us out on Instagram. Appreciated this email? Forward it to a friend and help us grow. Loved a story? Hated it? Write us a letter at magazine@nytimes.com. Did a friend forward this to you? Sign up here to get the magazine newsletter. Listen to narrated versions of our articles every week. Download Audm for iPhone or Android. Continue reading the main story Need help? Review our newsletter help page or contact us for assistance. You received this email because you signed up for The New York Times Magazine from The New York Times. To stop receiving these emails, unsubscribe or manage your email preferences. Subscribe to The TimesGet The New York Times app Connect with us on: Change Your EmailPrivacy PolicyContact UsCalifornia Notices The New York Times Company. 620 Eighth Avenue New York, NY 10018